To Whom it may Concern,
My name is Jeremiah Foley and I am about to graduate with a Bachelor’s Degree in Mechanical Engineering from Binghamton University. I am writing to inquire about the foreign service diplomatic security engineer position I found on usajobs.gov.
My education has focused on problem solving and assessing solutions, as well as teamwork and technical communication. I also have hands on experience in working with oscilloscopes and multimeters as well as other electronic equipment such as electronic strain gauges. I also have experience in both producing and reading mechanical drawings, and a small amount of experience interpreting electrical and systems drawings which I have gained both in school and in my internship at a patent law office which required me to examine many electrical systems. I am also an able-bodied healthy young man who is both willing and able to meet the physical demands lined out in the listing.
I am very interested in this position because I feel very strongly about protecting our overseas interests and would like to assist in helping to keep our interests and our workers safe. I am also very interested in travelling and seeing the world, including the areas where the comforts I am accustomed to are unavailable. I am a very hands-on person so I am also intrigued by the physical areas of this position, I would like to have an occupation where I am doing more than just working in an office and your vacant position seems to be much more than that.
I appreciate the opportunity to work for the US Department of State and would look forward to travelling wherever this position would send me. Please review my resume and contact me with any questions you may have. I look forward to discussing this opportunity further.
Thank You
Jeremiah Foley
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Your cover letter sounds very impressive and you seem confident that you are fit for the position. I think maybe you should capitalize the position name though, just so it stands out a bit.
ReplyDeleteAleksandra Vileshina
I also think the content of your letter is impressive, but I want to point out a style issue. You overuse the words 'also' and 'very'.
ReplyDeleteI agree with both comments. You sound confident and well equipped for the job.
ReplyDeleteIn addition to what Alecia said, definitely try to refrain from using "I am also" a lot. There should be nice flow to your cover letter. It'll only enhance what the reader already thinks of your impressive cover letter.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kalle Yee's post, instead of saying "I am also" you could just say "I am" and it wouldn't sound as repetitive when you are listing your skills and interests. Other than that, it is a great cover letter.
ReplyDeleteI think it great coming right off the bat as confident and having a deep interest for the position. Showing sincerity in your interest will most likely lead to be hired. Nice job JJ
ReplyDeleteI agree with the above poster. I personally think this is a very well & looks good.
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